Someone to whom I looked up to, in whom I believed in, and for whom I had a great deal of respect once told a defeated team about the key to living a successful life: associations.
Most of us would hear that and immediately think of, "It's
all about who you know," networking and strictly career things. The
relationships you form throughout your professional career can and usually do
determine its course, but this advice went deeper than that. A successful
career, while certainly a contributing
factor, does not equate to a successful life. This role
model of mine, who had huge career success himself, gave significant weight to
those relationships out of the professional sphere. He deemed the most
important association to be the person with whom you fall in love and share
your life.
Recently, I have been continuously inspired by those people
with whom I'm associated. Some I am closer to than others, but overall I keep
finding myself impressed with an endeavor someone I know is taking on. This got
me thinking back to the advice above and how I am living proof of it - how I
know many people who are also living proof of it.
I thought back to the times throughout my 24.5-year life where I
felt successful, and the times I did not. Even when I knew I was not doing so well as I wanted in my career,
relationships, health, etc., I did a pretty good job
of convincing myself I was happy, simply because there has never been
a time in my life where I've had the bad outweigh the good, and for that I am
grateful. That being said, the direct correlation between the better than good, and not so
good times and the relationships in which I was involved at the time is pretty
spot on.
Whether it was someone I was dating, friends with, or someone I
merely worked with – his or her negativity, insecurities or overall complacency
with mediocrity, brought me down. At the time I was both conscious and
unconscious of this effect certain people were having on me.
I'm not sure of the exact sequence of events that has brought
me to where I am now - to where I am honestly impressed and overwhelmed by the
motivation of and from my associations. I'm sure that, along the line, cutting
ties with some people, simple distance from others and growing closer to
different people have played roles. Additionally, some of my own jolts may have
helped me change my perspective on the value of my relationships and
associations.
Being surrounded by, and allowing myself to be inspired by, the individuals around me makes me feel extremely grateful. It drives me and the positive impact is has made in my life has been HUGE.
I used to hear of someone doing something like running a marathon,
getting into a challenging program or position or inventing something new and
say, "That's crazy." I'd even say/think, "You're going to have
no life," and I'm pretty mad at myself that I did. My reaction now to
hearing things like this is different: "Wow! What made you want to do that?
Good for you!" I never meant to be cynical or doubtful toward others’
"crazy" feats, but being completely open and intrigued by them makes
a world of difference in your perspective on the feats in yours.
Associate yourself with people who blow your mind with
their goals and accomplishments: mental, physical, career, personal and life
endeavors. Let those associations drive you to think of things you can and want
to do that might just be a little "crazy." For some of us that can be
as small as a 5k or as big as a backpacking trip around the world. Embrace your
own challenges as well as other people’s, and associate yourself with those who
support and embrace yours.
I believe in doing everything we can to make our own lives
"successful." Our associations are the most important part, and we
are blessed enough to control them, and reap the benefits of doing so.
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