Full Circle

So many things, both good and bad, happen in our lives and sometimes we don't know why or how such instances came to be. We can become so blinded, jolted and even frozen in the instant of a major change that we cannot consider how we got to this point, nor can we see the forest beyond the trees. Once we shake ourselves out of the panic or bliss, we begin to see how things will, are and continue to come full circle.

What does it even mean to come full circle? To me, it's looking at a situation in retrospect and understanding where it came from and also how that situation got you to the place you're at now.  For better or for worse. The ability to, accept, appreciate and reflect on an instance of change in your life and say, "that makes sense".

A good friend reminded me today that my 2 year anniversary of moving to D.C. is coming up. While time always seems to fly, 2 years feels about right.

First Time Seeing The White House & First Run On The National Mall

This topic came up over Thanksgiving as well, when my mom shared how the day before I moved I sat in her passenger seat sobbing in sheer terror over the seemingly hasty decision I made to move my life away from everything I knew. Through my tears I asked her "What am I doing?" and voiced every single doubt I had about this being a good idea. Never have even visited D.C. before, an awesome life in Massachusetts surrounded people who REALLY knew me, and dealing with the most significant health issue of my life had me pretty convinced that moving away was the worst decision I could possibly make. Fortunately, I didn't find myself convinced of that, until the truck was packed and my mother had summoned enough will power to not say "Sure, it's fine. Stay here so I don't have to take a plane ride for a manicure with my girl." When we got home, my Dad was simple and blunt, "You're going".

The next morning, my parents drove me and all of my stuff down to D.C. in a UHAUL. When we pulled up to my home (that I had never seen before) and the door in the back of the truck opened up, I was greeted by Kait. To this day, I don't think her and I were ever "supposed to be" friends, she was an edgy, hipster chick to me, and to her, I was a "WOOO girl". When my parents left on moving day with a different goodbye than we'd ever had, Kait linked her arm with mine and said "Lets go eat!" before I could even blink a tear out of my eye. We trucked up the street from our new, unsettled, home and ate the first of many (too many) meals at Cafe Asia. I don't know if it was because we didn't have a choice, and I don't really care, but her and I became instantly comfortable and closer than I could've imagined. Everyone tells you that when you move you meet such amazing people, and thats true, but wow am I glad to have had that weird designer I had been working with as my roommate and friend. For my first 2 years in D.C., home was where Kait was.

Posing as if we were the other one. 2 weeks into knowing each other.

My job was awesome, became more awesome and continues to evolve. Enjoying work and embracing new opportunities is something I'm grateful for everyday. I would have never believed you 2 years ago if you told me I'd have some of the things under my belt, that I do now. Really, I would've told you to shut up.

I was blown away by the people I met, and the ones I got to know better. D.C. is very much a "what do you do" city, but I've found some of the best and most genuine people in my time here. Dating (when single) was nicer too, although I wasn't really interested in meeting anyone while in the process of getting myself established here. We know how that worked out though, and I couldn't be happier that it did! ;)

After a bump in the road my health got back in check and I was determined to take extremely good care of myself. I learned that when something knocks you on your ass, it's a set up for a killer comeback and I liked the challenge. Re-learning fitness and wellness was difficult, eye opening and a blast simultaneously.

As amazing things continued to happy in my personal and professional life, my mom would remind me of the melt down in the Park N Shop parking lot. Sort of an "I told you so" type deal, but with more relief. Now, after living away from home for 2 years, it's almost unfathomable that I ever thought about not taking the step I took, which was WAY outside of my already huge comfort zone. Thinking of opportunities, moments and people I'd miss if I didn't is almost upsetting as they have become parts of my life I can't imagine ever going without. Those include visiting, surprising and seeing friends from home and having it be just like it always is, even though I don't live in Massachusetts. Testing the notion of "somethings never change" has made me value these relationships even more.

I know there are many of other full circle experiences in my life but I'm 25 years old and impatient, so this is the most prominent one for me. It's had a bit of time to play out and I know it isn't done yet. That is what is pretty cool about full circle, it actually never stops and we have little way of knowing where we are in the process. Experiencing that situations that I questioned and had anxiety over worked out better than I could've hoped is enlightening. I'm going to try to hold onto that the next time I go into meltdown mode over something.

It is an effort to truly believe that no matter where you are in your life, you are right where you're supposed to be, and that fate does have its own mysterious way of working itself out in our decisions. While I challenge with that belief and acceptance at times, I truly feel it is well worth the effort.